Stuff I Learned from Checking my Email
I’m going to make this brief. This morning, I learned a lot about myself by paying attention to how I engaged with my emails.
I’ve signed up for so many emails, with no intention of reading them.
Even the ones I intended to read, it was still magical thinking that made me sign up. I behave like I have 278 hours in a day. When the emails show up, I realize I don’t even have the 24 everybody talks about. Not even really 8. I only have these next three minutes, and so I find out brutally fast who’s important and who’s not. And almost nobody’s ‘important enough’ for me to read.
The ones that end up on that very short list aren’t guaranteed a read either, though. They stay bolded—I want to read them—but weeks go by and they’re still in bold, unread, in my email folder. I love these writers/vegans/buddhists/politicians. I don’t want to let them go. But I can’t bring myself to open the email and just sit down and read.
And realizing THAT ^^^ helps me understand how much of my life is aspirational, or even performative. I don’t actually want to read those emails. I want to look like the kind of person who would read them. I don’t actually want to learn to watercolor. I want to look like the kind of person would would, if she had the time.
Will the real Tina stand up?
It’s a great question to sit with. I’m not making myself bad or wrong. I’m just paying attention to how I swirl around trying to look like what I’m not—so that I will like me better.
Time to look in the mirror and say, my poor little sweetheart. Stop. Nobody cares whether you’re a vegan or your writing hit the bestseller list. You can love you without all of that. Let go and you’ll see.
So that’s my message for today.
Let go of all the swirling around and the magical thinking and the trying too hard.
And just love.
Wisdom from Michelle Obama
“For me, becoming isn’t about arriving somewhere or achieving a certain aim. I see it instead as forward motion, a means of evolving, a way to reach continuously toward a better self. The journey doesn’t end.” from “Becoming”
And…Baby Goat Snow Joy (because I love you)
Here it is. The reason we should all keep getting up in the morning. THIS GUY.
Rock on, people. It’s going to take all of us to get through this.
Absolutely agree. Time is precious....so I am learning to choose wisely. I read your posts because invariably I learn something about myself and feel stronger, better, more peaceful and more able to breathe....for which I thank you.
You are not the only one! So I started unsubscribing from the ones I'm not reading and picking a select few!